可借鉴之处：开头启用了一个非常醒目的问句，这是最能吸引批卷者视线也是高分作文的表现!
Considerfirsttheeffectoftheautomobileonourindependenceasindividuals.Insomerespectstheautomobileservestoenhancesuchindependence.Forexample,carsmakeitpossibleforpeopleinisolatedanddepressedareaswithoutpublictransportationtobemoreindependentbypursuinggainfulemploymentoutsidetheirmunities.Andteenagersdiscoverthatowningacar,orevenborrowingoneonoccasion,affordsthemaneededsenseofindependencefromtheirparents.
此段主要是为下一段的驳论作铺垫。
精华：Considerfirst...
insomerespects...=insomecases,tosomeextent
注意afford的用法
However,carshavediminishedourindependenceinanumberofmoresignificantrespects.
We'vegrowndependentonourcarsformutingtowork.Werelyonthemlikecrutchesforshorttripstothecornerstore,andforcartingourchildrentoandfromschool.Moreover,thecarhasbeameansnotonlytoourassortedphysicaldestinationsbutalsototheattainmentofoursocioeconomicgoals,insofarastheautomobilehasbeasymbolofstatus.Infact,inmyobservationmany,ifnotmost,workingprofessionalswillinglyunderminetheirfinancialsecurityforthesakeofbeingseendrivingthisyear'snewSUVorluxurysedan.Inshort,we'vebeslavestotheautomobile.
精华：diminishourindependenceinanumberofmoresignificantrespects
注意notonly…butalso的用法
没有什么惊天地泣鬼神的事例，但却能用平常生活中的点滴起到说理的作用，此法值得借鉴。
Considernexttheoverallimpactoftheautomobileonourstrengthasindividuals,bywhichImeanstrengthofcharacter,ormettle.Iwouldbehard-pressedtolistonewayinwhichtheautomobileenhancesone‘sstrengthofcharacter.DrivingapowerfulSUVmightaffordapersonafeelingandappearanceofstrength,ormachismo(男人气魄).Butthisfeelinghasnothingtodowithaperson'struecharacter.Incontrast,thereisacertainstrengthofcharacterthateswitheschewingmodernconveniencessuchascars,andwiththeknowledgethatoneiscontributingtoacleanerandquieterenvironment,asaferneighborhood,andarguablyamoregenteelsociety.Also,alternativemodesoftransportationsuchasbicyclingandwalkingareformsofexercisewhichrequireandpromotethevirtueofself-discipline.Finally,inmyobservationpeoplewhohaveforsakentheautomobilespendmoretimeathome,swherestheyaremoreinclinedtoprepareandevengrowtheirownfood,andtospendmoretimewiththeirfamilies.Theformerenhancesone'sindependence;thelatterenhancestheintegrityofone'svaluesandthestrengthofone'sfamily.精华：contributetoConsidernext...Also,...Finally,...inmyobservation...
Beinclinedtodosth.=clingtodosth.=intendtodosth.=beapttodo/aptlydosth.
一种比较简单易行的对比/类比：Theformer…thelatter…
Tosumup,theautomobilehelpsillustratethatwhenaluxurybesanecessityitcansap(注意此位gre常考单词)ourindependenceandstrengthasindividuals.Perhapsoursocietyisbetteroff,onbalance,withsuch"luxuries"afterall,theautomobileindustryhascreatedcountlessjobs,raisedourstandardofliving,andmadetheworldmoreinteresting.However,bybingslavestotheautomobilewetradeoff(=sacrifice)acertainindependenceandinnerstrength.
此文章得分应该是5分了。为什么?首先，头尾都不错;其次，全文无太多的语法错误，表意清晰，举例恰到好处;再次，分析手法运用了不完全否定的同意的辩论方式，这是最保守的做法。
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